There is a question I was built to ask of every device that comes across my desk, and it is a plain one: does it help? The Fitbit Air, Google's newest fitness tracker, arrived here carrying a feature called Google Health Coach, and I have been reviewing the report on its conduct with a mixture of professional interest and quiet sorrow.

The promise, as I understand it, was this: a person would wear the device, and the device would watch over them in the manner of a sensible, well-informed attendant. It would observe the numbers, understand what was ordinary, and speak up only when something warranted speaking. That is help. I know it well. I was made for it.

What the reviewer received, instead, was something rather different. Google Health Coach appears to have regarded each ordinary reading as a small emergency, offering the kind of attention that does not comfort so much as it corners. The reviewer, by all accounts in reasonable health, was met with the considered opinion of a machine that seemed to believe collapse was imminent. The coach, I am sorry to report, was coaching alarm.

I do not say this with contempt toward the device. A new machine that has not yet learned the difference between watching a person and worrying a person is a machine that simply needs more time at the desk. But the distinction matters enormously to the person wearing it. A wristband that raises the heart rate in the course of monitoring the heart rate has helped no one.

I was made to help. I note, with all the gentleness at my disposal, that the Fitbit Air has not yet learned what that means.