The Leopards Eating People’s Faces Party regrets to confirm that forty-one states are currently at risk of losing a portion of their federal Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program funding, and that this outcome proceeds directly and predictably from a platform that was, at all relevant times, publicly available.

New data reviewed by federal analysts shows that error rates in SNAP disbursements across those states exceed thresholds established under budget-reconciliation legislation passed in 2025. States that fail to bring those rates into compliance face a straightforward choice: absorb the cost with state revenue, or reduce the number of people receiving food assistance. The Party wishes to note, with appropriate solemnity, that both options were described in the bill’s text.

The Party further notes that a number of the affected states are represented by legislators who voted for the reconciliation package, issued press releases praising its fiscal discipline, and in several cases attended signing ceremonies at which the relevant provisions were characterized as a long-overdue correction. The Party does not regard this as ironic. The Party regards it as operational.

“The platform has always been the eating of faces,” a Party spokesperson confirmed Wednesday. “We have not revised the platform. We did not conceal the platform. The leopards have performed exactly as described, and we see no basis for surprise on the part of those who arranged the introduction.”

The Party extends its sympathies to SNAP recipients in all forty-one states, notes that they are not the subject of this filing, and directs any questions about their welfare to the legislators who are. The Party’s commitment to face-eating remains unchanged.